When organising a funeral for a loved one, one of the decisions you’ll need to make is whether to hold a wake and where to host it. A funeral wake is a gathering of family and friends after the funeral service, usually involving food and drink, and a time to share memories of the person who has died.

While many people choose to book a venue such as a pub or restaurant for the wake, others prefer the intimacy and comfort of holding the wake at home. If you’re considering holding a funeral wake at home, here’s what you need to know.

Benefits of Holding a Wake at Home

There are several reasons why you might choose to host the wake at home rather than hiring a venue:

• It can be more personal and intimate, allowing you to celebrate your loved one’s life in a familiar setting surrounded by their belongings and memories.
• It can be less expensive than booking a venue, especially if you’re catering the food and drink yourself or asking guests to bring a dish.
• It can be more convenient for family members and friends who may not be able to travel far, especially if the funeral service was held locally.
• It allows you more flexibility in terms of the timing and duration of the wake, as you’re not restricted by a venue’s availability or closing time.
• It can be a way to honour your loved one’s wishes if they expressed a preference for a home wake or if holding wakes at home is a family tradition.

Considerations When Planning a Home Wake

If you decide to hold the wake at home, there are several things to consider when planning the event:

Guest List and Invitations

You’ll need to decide how many people to invite and whether to send formal invitations or inform people of the details of the wake more informally. Consider the size of your home and how many people it can comfortably accommodate. You may need to limit the guest list to close family and friends if space is limited.

Catering and Refreshments

Decide whether you’ll be providing food and drink yourself, hiring a caterer, or asking guests to bring a dish to share. If you’re catering yourself, consider preparing as much as possible in advance so you’re not rushing on the day. If you’re hiring a caterer, book them well in advance and discuss your requirements and budget.

Timing and Duration

Decide on a start and end time for the wake and let guests know in advance. Most wakes last around 2-3 hours, but it’s up to you how long you want it to go on for. Consider the time of day and whether you’ll be providing a full meal or just snacks and refreshments.

Setting Up Your Home

You’ll need to prepare your home for the wake, which may involve rearranging furniture to create more space, setting up extra seating, and creating a space for food and drink. Consider creating a memory table or photo display to celebrate your loved one’s life, and have tissues and water available for guests.

Order of Events

While a wake is usually less formal than the funeral service itself, it’s still a good idea to have a loose plan for the order of events. This might include welcoming guests, saying a few words about your loved one, inviting others to share stories or memories, and raising a toast.

Music and Atmosphere

Music can help create a pleasant atmosphere at a wake, so consider creating a playlist of your loved one’s favourite songs or music that reflects their personality. You might also want to light candles or display flowers to create a warm and inviting ambience.

What Happens at a Home Wake?

The format of a home wake is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Some families prefer a more structured event with speeches and toasts, while others opt for a more casual gathering where people can mingle and chat.

Here are some common elements of a home wake:

• Guests arrive and are greeted by the family.
• Refreshments are served, either as a buffet or sit-down meal.
• Family members may say a few words of welcome and thanks.
• Guests are invited to share stories, memories, and condolences.
• A slideshow or video tribute may be played.
• Music may be played in the background.
• Guests mingle and offer support to the family.
• The wake ends with guests saying their goodbyes and departing.

Ultimately, a home wake is an opportunity for family and friends to come together, support one another, and celebrate the life of the person who has died in a personal and meaningful way.

Alternatives to a Home Wake

If holding a wake at home isn’t practical or desirable, there are other options available:

• Hiring a venue such as a pub, restaurant, or community centre. Many venues offer catering and event planning services to make organising a wake easier.
• Holding the wake at a park or outdoor location, especially if your loved one enjoyed nature or the outdoors.
• Combining the wake with the funeral service at the crematorium or place of worship, with refreshments served afterwards.
• Holding a separate memorial service or celebration of life at a later date, which can be less formal than a traditional funeral and wake.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to hold a wake and where to hold it is a personal one that depends on your family’s preferences, traditions, and circumstances.

How Joseph A. Hey & Son Can Help

At Joseph A. Hey & Son, we understand that planning a funeral and wake can be a daunting and emotional task. That’s why our experienced funeral directors are here to guide you through the process and help you create a meaningful and personal send-off for your loved one.

Whether you choose a traditional funeral service followed by a wake, or a more alternative celebration of life, we’ll work with you to ensure every detail is taken care of. From arranging transport and flowers to selecting music and catering, our aim is to make the process as stress-free as possible for you and your family.

If you’re considering holding a wake at home, we can offer advice on how to plan and organise the event, as well as put you in touch with local caterers and suppliers. And if you decide to hold the wake at one of our funeral homes, we have comfortable and welcoming spaces available.

For more information on our funeral services or to discuss your options for a wake, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us today. We’re here to support you every step of the way.